So I have this really great theory that I'm totally losing it. Also, I'm completly boy crazy. These two probably go hand in hand. Did I tell y'all that there is some crazy deamon at my school? It's inhabiting everyone, some give over easier than others. I'm dead serious. I think I'm gonna write a short story about it. Okay, without naming names, besides my own, this is what has happened here in the past month, and it's escalating: 10,000 worth of damages to tvs and projectors from some kooks with wrench and violence in their hearts, a split eyebrow from getting a door kicked into a face, 6 or 7 people from bton at a hospital in one night, a slit wrist (sort of accidental), 2 instances of cutting w/out motivation, graffiti all over our arts building, many many blackouts.
I'm both excited and terrified to see what happens in the next week and a half. Will it end in tragedy? Worse thing HAVE happened here, but all this stuff in such a short period of time is kinda freeky.
I think thats why I'm losing it. I feel like my brain is separating at the seams and all I want to do is drink and smoke and fuck.
I went to nyc this weekend for a little reprieve. Thank God. I saw my boyfriend who grounds me like none other. I felt normal for a breif period of time. Then I came back and now I feel manic and crazy again. Its a mystery dood. I also saw ERIN WASSON on the street. She smiled at me. It was amazing. So, I've seen daphne guiness and erin wasson in nyc. What does this summer hold?
Also I know there are spelling errors in here but I'm too tweaked (on nothing) to care. I'm going to go take advantage of my insanity and draw sum. Pax ya'll.
at 11:25 AM
Holy whatthefuck. This dude is literally like, perfect in every way. Full lips, pale skin, brown hair. Are you noticing a pattern in my dudebonermaterial? I am. His name is Marcel Castenmiller (does that mean he's french? He somehow just got perfecter!) and he's the model of the month over at fashionisto. Its gonna be a good month.
at 10:24 AM
So, I have no idea who this girl is, or what she is saying, but damn...bitch has style. I found her over at the wasteland which is lookbook, which is, as i just implied a total effing shit show and I kinda hate it, but sometimes you come across a gal who looks so fresh and fierce and other things tyra might say (is that show still on even?). Anyway, I think she likes pete doherty too...and uh, she usually looks the same and is always smoking, but I kinda dig on that.
I think I might start ranting more on this blog. I find it amusing, even if you don't haha. Plus some of my favorite blogs to read are just girls ranting and getting too personal and not giving a shit. The only issue on here is that basically all of my school (bennington college whut up) knows this thing exists. Okay, I'm not actually that popular (no actually I am...no just kidding I'm not) but there are some people I just don't want knowing that much about me. Wait. Who am I kidding, I don't want anyone to know anything about me (whats up therapy!?). It's a great big defense mechanism. Of which I have many...which is literally like the most annoying thing in the world. I just want to be a big fuzzy ball of nice, but instead i'm this kinda cold, sarcastic, sassy girl. Sometimes things come out of my mouth and I don't even understand why I say them. It's not that I'm unaware, I think it's that I'm just generally an idiot.
No, I don't really think that. I think I'm a pretty smart cookie, I just get down on myself sometimes. And right now its raining and I'm depressed, along with, apparently, the rest of the campus. The ER was flooded with kids from my school saturday night (not I friends, I got wasted and went to bed by 1). Speaking of wasted, I've playing around with the idea that I'm an alcoholic...but I've also been reading the big book and don't really feel like alcoholism is what I've got. More like boredom. More like desperation.
at 4:55 PM
Uh, that nail polish...I used to hate anything metallic cuz i thought it looked cheep but uh I think in turquoise it looks kinda fly. I also really dig leopard print these days. I bought a romper, and I hate rompers. I wouldn't mind finding that scarf in a thrift store or something...
Also, Louis Garrel. Oh my god. god my god. ennuh. I think I just came. Let me tell you a story: I used to have this thing for this guy, mike pitt. Like, I literally was convinced he was my soul mate, you know, like up until a year ago (jk, at least two years...) so I watch/ed every movie he was ever in including finding forester (like 15 seconds srsly)...anyway, he was in this movie called the dreamers which is good and incesty and frenchish even tho its directed by an Italian. SO ANYWAY, this garrel fellow plays one half of the incestuous twin pair who seduce mike pitt...and when I saw it I was all wow that guy is hot but oh shit theres mike, man his lips are succulent....
But OH HOW I HAVE GROWN. Yessir. I like my men dark these days, or so it seems...anyway he is french and seems pretty kinky from the roles he chooses and that's all you REALLY need to know. that and I'd give a whole lot to fuck him. I'd slit edward I mean robert pattinson's throat, so you know I'm serious.
Also, I got the charlie clogs. I have blisters but they feel good cuz I look so effing fly.
at 6:26 PM
Ooh-Wee! As promised, another installment of Bonestyle, this time, maybe a little less self indulgent. When I had the idea for this article I immediately wanted to look inside this gal's closet so I'm pumped to bring you Swan freshman, Amira Hankin's favorite pieces. If you've ever seen her around campus, then you know that girl can dress. To me, her wardrobe is this lovely and eclectic mix of things you'd find in your grandmother's attic, well, your really stylish grandma anyway. She actually gets most of her stuff from other people's attics, at estate sales and the famed Alameda flea market in San Francisco. Her pieces are always a little moth-eaten, maybe faded, but exquisite in this aged quality...without further ado:
“My mom found it at an antique shop.” She says, visibly stoked about this delicate gem. It was her 19th birthday present, and it's obviously, totally appropriate; both elegant and womanly.
Amira calls these her “little bowling shoes” and they are so quirky. “They're much too big for me and they cracked so I had to fix them up and give them stitches,” she explains, and, indeed, if you look closely you can see a row of perfect stitches in the leather.
“I love this dress so much.” Amira's words are breathy and hushed, as if this dress has some sort of power all its own. Amira's devotion to her clothing is undeniable, on this dress she has re-sewn many of the buttons and hems herself. It is, really, quite a unique piece, and worth the effort. It reminds me of coats of arms and medieval times (not the restaurant, duh), which is a strange juxtaposition to this little 50's housewife frock, but, it works.
What can I even say about this sweater? It's effing amazing and lush and this beautiful cafe-creme color. It's real fox fur, and while that's not particularly p.c., it is particularly fabulous looking, and obviously vintage (don't throw red paint on Amira...).
The dress pictured under the sweater is, for me, the real stand out piece. “I love that it's this awful swamp shade of green that only looks good when its actually on people,” and Amira is right. This dress is the ugliest color, and yet, it is totally stunning. It sort of evokes animal print, wood grain and peacock feathers all at the same time, an impressive feat.
at 5:40 PM