um k. well fer one I'm actually in love with this man. Even though he's like forty now and probz has a paunch. Fer two, I'm getting tired of all the babes at my school being taken/awkward/the objects of my friends desire (WHAT ABOUT MY DESIRE/unbearable loneliness/horn-town). And fer three, every time i think of my x I get nauseous. Thats new. Like I am literally afraid I'm am going to vom all ovr my litas. Which would make them moar punk rock so I guess thats chill. Maybe I'll just let'er rip, blow chunks next time. I hope he doesn't still read this...I kinda doubt it...but if he does well...hi, also ow.
but, i'm done with pain. actually, that's the funny thing. I decided I didn't want to hurt anymore this morning. I had about 5 minutes to do my makeup and put on clothes b4 class started, and then I just kinda froze and realized how over being sad I was. I was in SO much pain this weekend...and I just don't think it's worth it anymore. It doesn't change the situation. It just makes everything keep hurting.
Maybe thats why I feel like I have to puke.
Because moving on is really scary, after three years.
shit, I don't even need a therapist. Alls i needsa blog.
Chill. Cross/faded. Other cynical stuff.
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